Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Lottery (Satire)

Well, I did not win the lottery again, so what else is new? However, according to almost every spam email I receive, I am a very big winner; I just have to send them access to my bank account. Maybe I should, after all, there is nothing in there for them to take and maybe “the curse of my lack of money” will leave me and attach itself to them. Not really a good idea as I would probably lose my identity too; of course there is really nothing to lose there either as I don’t have an identity to speak of.

I am much like a comic-strip character, happy in my own little world except for a black cloud bearing down on my head following me everywhere I go. The occasional lightning strike alerts me to the terror of my poverty, but being stubborn I pull the sack over my head, ignore it, and purchase another lottery ticket.
The odds of winning are in the millions, but someone has to win, and you can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket. These are the famous last words of people in gambler’s anonymous (I think, as I have never gone to a meeting because I don’t have a gambling problem) – what bridge do you want to sell me?

I have to mention here that I actually did win several small amounts (just enough to build my confidence and play more often). I usually play the same numbers because if I change, the old number will win. I have proof of that, one day I did not play the Match Four and my numbers won - $10,000. So I dare not miss a day – ever!

Say for example that I win big money; of course I plan to get out of debt, but before that can happen, I have to actually get to the lottery office to pick up the winnings. My car won’t make it that far and I would have to find a “trusted” friend to get me there, but who to trust? Also my little black cloud full of lightning is very faithful and I am sure upon winning, I would be struck dead before I could pick up any of the money.

I am not sure why some people win the lottery and others don’t or even why some are born rich and others born poor. The really big lottery is the lottery of life; it is either a blessing or a curse to the ones born and it follows like a black cloud or a pot of gold throughout each and every life as a test to see what we do with what we have. I hope I am being graded on a very wide curve.

1 comment:

  1. can you posts more of a satirical comments so that i can base my paper on what you wrote..